A Strange Guest

The clock ticked seven on a hot and irritatingly humid evening. I wanted to shift my bedroom to the bathroom but then I thought bathroom doesn’t have an internet connection. I stood up from my chair to go to the kitchen and to make a very nutritious food, maggi noodles. At the door of the kitchen was lying someone which was 80cm long, 2.6 cm wide and 2.3 cm thick. Thanks to civil Engineering which altered my instincts, everything I see, the first information I gather from my mind is their size and figure. So it took around 9 seconds for me to realize that, the creature which was lying on the floor was a snake.

I stood still as if I am the hunter and snake is the prey. The snake was there with all calm and composure. Its head was in opposite direction, it seemed like it was waiting for someone. From a distance I saw a seemingly innocuous cockroach strolling on an evening ride, may be looking for some food or may be an after-food walk. The snake pounced on it the moment it came nearer.

A snake comes in my house and eats a cockroach! This was gross and not upto the standards of a snake which can swallow a creature four times than itself. How degraded was the food chain here, I thought.

Since the snake was busy in relishing the cockroach, this was the high time that I look for some (Lethal) weapon. I went into the balcony and found one. So I had in my hand a big broom. The snake was of a strange colour, green on the top and white at the bottom. It was definitely a creepy circumstance. I wanted to shout “Help,Help” or send a morse code for SOS. But at the same time I also wanted to act manly. So with my weapon I attacked the snake with ferocity. The attack atleast made the snake realize that there was another living creature in the house. I was trying hard to control the wild movements of the snake which wanted to crawl into my bedroom. I said to myself, “Wait a f**king minute. I am a fan of MAN v/s WILD show on Discovery and that man eats snake by cutting its neck.” So I managed to open the door of the kitchen with my legs since my arms were engaged with my weapon. I took the knife and with a very heavy heart, I did it.

I mean I put the knife back with no act of heroism.

I was still struggling to murder it. I gave several blows on its head but it seemed as if it was enjoying them. Then the door bell rang. I checked the clock, it was Seven-Thirty, it has to be the maid. I elongated myself to open the door. She said “ohh, snake again”. She came with a confidence of a warrior, took the weapon from me, struck the snake’s head around 7-8 times and with bare hands threw the snake 16 meters (thanks to civil engineering) away from the house. What was she! I thought.

I took a sigh of relief and said “what a long snake!” She said “This was very small, two years ago I killed a snake of double the size”. “Ohh! Where was that?”, I inquired. She said plainly “In this house only”

What the hell! “is there any solution”, I prayed. “Not as such! Tribals eat snakes, by the way”, she answered.

And I am still a vegetarian.

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